HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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