Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
