it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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