She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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