Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize