Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
