I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
