she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You can't motorboat a personality
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
