Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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