normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
