Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
