Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
