Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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