dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
