Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
