He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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