Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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