you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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