so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
