looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
