Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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