I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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