I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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