after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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