did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
