If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
