i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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