I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
