I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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