don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
