Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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