I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
