i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
