I wanna bring you to show and tell
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
