Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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