i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
