In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
