Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
