why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
