break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
