I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
