still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
