Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize