Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
