Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
