Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
