week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
