You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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