Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
