On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
