We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
