I'm going to jail i love you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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