How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
