I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
