My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
