Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
